If I could feel anything other than sorry for myself right now, I’d feel happy for her.
Her mother’s hand is wrapped around her shoulder, and her father is pointing at her acrylic painting-an image of a house on a lake, with several geese dipping their toes into the water. When I hear laughter, I look up to see Susan Chang-the only other half-Asian girl in our school-clutching a blue and gold ribbon like she’s afraid she might lose it.
I pull the ribbon from the spout and shove it into my bag, burying it beneath a graveyard of almost-used-up pencils, a sketchbook, and a pack of cinnamon chewing gum. It doesn’t matter that the ribbon says “Honorable Mention.” All I see is “Not good enough to get into Prism.” All Mom would see is “Not good enough.”
Now all I can think about is how the blue glaze looks more gray than cerulean, how the torso is so unrealistically long, and how bad of an idea it was to make a mermaid teapot at all. When I made it in ceramics class two months ago, it looked vibrant and smooth. I flick my finger against the purple ribbon dangling from its spout. My mermaid teapot is sitting on the shelf in front of me. Emery always says that being alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely, but sometimes it feels like they’re exactly the same thing. I shouldn’t be surprised-she never shows up-but I can’t get rid of the empty, twisted feeling in my stomach. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.įrom debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin.īut then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. “One of the most compelling reads of the year.” - Paste MagazineĪ half-Japanese teen grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school in this “stunningly beautiful, highly nuanced debut” ( Booklist, starred review). “An empowering novel that will speak to many mixed-race teens.” - Publishers Weekly (starred review) A New York Public Library Best Book for Teens of 2017
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